Change nappies!

What are we wearing andĀ how sadĀ does that make those around us?

 

A recent article in theĀ Huffington PostĀ decried the dress sense of Americans abroad. The Japanese commentator had little understanding as to why many women would tour his country in yoga gear even though it was clear they had no intention of visiting a studio. Or getting close to a mat. American men all looked the same in chinos, a golf shirt, a New York Yankees cap, and sneakers. Either that or in long baggy shorts that hadnā€™t been fashionable sinceā€¦ ever.

Itā€™s not just Americans. South Africans are hardly Parisian in their style, and whereas our larger men might wear Jeep on their beer-barrelled chests, our women also have a penchant for gym clothes.

Style is also community-specific, which is why itā€™s thankfully only in the Johannesburg Jewish community that one is likely to bear witness to the ugliness known as ā€˜nappy pantsā€™. Women claim to love them and will even compliment others on theirs. Whether this comes from a deep-rooted desire to eliminate the competition or genuine confusion isnā€™t clear. But whatā€™s clear is that in the history of this unsightly trend, I will stake my reputation on the fact that no man has ever considered them to be flattering. And if they say that they are, they either live in perpetual fear or are bold-faced liars. Never to be trusted.

Because nothing good has ever come from ā€˜nappy pantsā€™.

No one should be travelling through an airport in anything that looks like pyjamas. Or gym clothes. Because, as fleecy as it might feel, it looks ridiculous. And passport control and customs arenā€™t slumber party venues. It might be worth noting that the one-hour-and-50-minute trip from Johannesburg to Cape Town doesnā€™t require emergency comfort wear, and that most of us can manage that experience dressed as adults.

Blame the COVID-19 pandemic and remote working. Blame the heat or the cold or influencers. Blame your friends, who said that the Jeep T-shirt is cool (itā€™s not). But, at the end of the day, how we present ourselves counts. It governs how people relate to us and how they perceive us. Particularly true of first impressions that form a lasting impression that are enormously difficult to shift.

This shouldnā€™t be confusing. In case it is, perhaps remember the following: gym clothes are for gym. Pyjamas are for bed. And ā€˜nappy pantsā€™, much like Crocs, are for the dustbin. Not for the indigent and the homeless. Not for those less fortunate. Because, considering their experience, they have already suffered enough.

Text |Ā Howard Feldman

Photography |Ā ViDI Studio

Follow Howard Feldman on X:Ā @HowardFeldman

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